This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” January 10, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: But we’re here. We are here. Yes. Oh my god. Happy glorious, Monday. It’s day one of our second week of the no- audience shows. I guess we really should lower ticket prices. This is getting ridiculous. Yes. Well, it’s one of the great moments in education. Apparently a mother in Texas has been accused of putting her son who tested positive for COVID in the trunk of her car to prevent him from — or her from being exposed to his virus.

So that’s kind of awesome. Throwing your kid in the trunk of your car like a set of jumper cables. You know, I think we finally found a woman who can be Julie Banderas for mother of the year. Now, she faces charges of child endangerment. The woman in Texas not Julie, but don’t give up yet. Don’t give up yet, Banderas. It could still happen for you. Yes, still tonight. But after she received — after she arrived to the COVID tested site with her 13-year-old boy in the back of her car, that raised some concerns.

According to the arrest warrant, she brought her son to the drive-through site, told the director of health services that our brat was in the trunk so she wouldn’t get exposed while driving. When the police were alerted, that kid was in the trunk. He was freed unharmed. No word if the kid’s name is Jack. Just look over at Kat, she doesn’t know what I’m referring to. Now, you might think, you know, let’s hope this lady’s not around other kids.

Which is what you usually think about when you’re talking about CNN producers. But here you’d be wrong. She’s a high school English teacher, but has now been placed on administrative leave, which means she gets paid to watch the Hallmark Channel. And worse, this trend of isolation in odd places seems to be catching on.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Hey, can I go home yet? I’ve been here 14 days. I tested negative (INAUDIBLE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He likes it. So this is where a shallow talk show host might exploit this sad story as an example of how bad our education system has become. Well, I’ll tell you what, I am that shallow talk show host.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Our education system sucks.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Fact is we’re living in a time where teachers unions are happily sacrificing the education, health and safety of children in order to protect themselves. The claimants (INAUDIBLE) dangerous to go back to class. And that would be true if we were talking about the violence, but they’re not. They’re using COVID as an excuse to lounge at home watching The View. Day drinking until Joy starts looking human.

Meanwhile, for the fourth consecutive day, Chicago public schools have canceled classes as unions refuse to agree when to bring the teachers back into the classroom. Even though everyone from nurses, to cashiers, to truck drivers, to exotic dancers, Julie, have been back in work for months. Some of us doing all four of those jobs in the same day. But maybe the teacher staying at home is a good thing, right?

There’s anything we got out of remote learning, it’s that a student’s chances of learning is remote. And why is that? Well, our education system is the only system exempt from the one tool that makes all of us better. That’s competition. Well, our education system and late night talk show hosts. Thanks to me, there’s really no competition there either. Patting myself on the back but my arms are short.

Lacking competition, the schools and their unions are free to do whatever the hell they want. Students be damned. And if your family doesn’t like it, you can’t take your business elsewhere. Imagine if this kind of mentality existed in other arenas, not just public schools. Well, in fact, it does. See the Department of Motor Vehicles or Cuba. Neither known for their short lines and highly motivated workforce.

Fact is when you only have one choice to pick from, that choice benefits the entity that’s offering it. It’s like being the best looking man at Fox News. It’s not that you’re handsome, but you’re handsome by default. Or maybe you live in a small town with only one cable company. Good luck if it goes out during the storm. The cable company will be in no rush to fix it because well, who are you going to go to if you’re unsatisfied?

But if there are two cable companies, it’s amazing how much faster (BLEEP) gets done. Now instead of waiting for the cable guy from 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. they got it down to 9:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. And that’s the public school system for you. They can abandon your kids because where are you going to go? Teach them yourself with that hour you have free between your day job as a cashier at Wal-Mart or your night job stripping in nude prudes?

Politicians don’t care. They work to defeat school choice while enjoying that choice for their sniffling offspring. Yes, they’re precious buffy gets decent instructors and actual books to read, instead of metal detectors, mask mandates, and barely literate teachers who can’t be fired. But to our leaders, a bad education is like high crime. If it’s not their problem, then it’s no problem at all.

Well, it’s time to change that. As one famous Democrat said, never let a crisis go to waste. I believe it was Britney Spears. And even she knows more about education. She’s 40 years old and still fits into a Catholic schoolgirl outfit. That’s something we both have in common. But the pandemic has exposed an educational system in crisis. So this is a perfect time for a new movement.

A parental Tea Party that stops paying into systems that poison your children intellectually. while the teachers sit at home poison themselves with Doritos. It’s time to fund the students and not the schools. And then the schools will fight for the student’s money. But deny those school boards your tax cash and watch them wither and drop away like a frozen word from Bette Midler’s neck.

Competition will make all schools and all teachers better. They may not want it the way your kid didn’t want spinach, but it wasn’t up to him. So let’s jam it down their throat and watch the benefits take hold. Competition makes it so it’s not up to them. It’s up to you, the parent. And that’s the only solution we really have left. Aside from locking kids in the trunk of a car with their laptop and a bag lunch which is my kind of homeschooling.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. She’s more tank that dolphins at SeaWorld. Fox News Anchor Julie Banderas. His favorite colors are red, white and blue up some terrorists. Conservative candidate for Congress in Florida Corey Mills. He’s the funniest comedian we can get on short notice. Writer and comedian, Joe DeVito. And she’s got a case of the Mondays at a case of expired wine coolers. Fox News contributor Kat Timpf.

So Julie, first of all, how was your — how’s your dry January going?

JULIE BANDERAS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR: Well, we’re on what? What is this? January 8TH?

GUTFELD: It’s January 11th, right? January 10th.

BANDERAS: Oh crap. Is it really?

GUTFELD: January 10th. God, we’re all high.

BANDERAS: Yes. I don’t know. I started on the third because the first couple days were rough.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: And then I — it expired last night.

GUTFELD: Oh, OK.

BANDERAS: I’m going to start it again though. Today.

GUTFELD: There you go.

BANDERAS: I haven’t drank since like this morning.

GUTFELD: That’s fantastic.

BANDERAS: Yes.

GUTFELD: That’s fantastic.

BANDERAS: Yes.

GUTFELD: What was your tipple of choice?

BANDERAS: Vodka and orange juice. Heavy on the vodka light on the orange.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go. There you go. Well, you — whenever I think of good parenting, I always think of you first.

BANDERAS: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Do you think this woman is unfairly maligned for keeping herself safe from her child?

BANDERAS: She sounds pretty narrow minded because, you know, you got to think outside of the box as a parent. You know, don’t limit it to just the kids. I mean, you could fit so much in my car. I have an SUV.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: So I would fit in the husband, the barking dogs, the dirty laundry, and I’m not referring to my dark past. I’m talking about the actual filthy clothes that are just piling up because I don’t do laundry. So yes. I mean, just think outside the box. And I think it’s an absolutely great idea. You don’t want to expose yourself to your kids. I’d like to lock them in there for the remainder of the school year if they come back to remote schooling. That’s the reason why my dry January sucked.

GUTFELD: Yes, I get it. I get it.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: (INAUDIBLE) going to dry January.

BANDERAS: It was five whole days.

GUTFELD: That was dry week of January. That’s actually good. Joe, do you think this story, the microcosm of this woman is more just an example of how the COVID panic has just changed people? Freaking people out so they’re like, she — I mean, she actually put her kid in the trunk of a car because she panicked over COVID.

DEVITO: Yes. And if you’d heard that she’d done that to a dog people would have gone berserk.

GUTFELD: Yes, that is true.

DEVITO: If she’d done that to a stuffed animal.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: People would have come out of her. And it’s a stupid thing to do because if you’re that worried, your choices are kid in the trunk or the ski rack and ski rack, it’s fresh air.

GUTFELD: That is true. I think that’s called the Mitt Romney.

DEVITO: Exactly. And people went nuts because he had a dog in the carrier and he lost the presidency because of that.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

DEVITO: Binders full of women, which we don’t even understand why (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: So yes, this is — this is one of those news stories. I’ve noticed this weird pattern that I’ll hear the story you see this — the headline and I think it’s going to be a teacher.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Going to be a teacher. They got too much time on their hands. And I think teachers have gone through this erosion of confidence that we’ve seen for doctors and politicians used to think someone’s teacher. Teachers change people’s lives. And then you see some blue haired lunatic having a crying fit on TikTok and you think maybe we go back to slates and chalk.

GUTFELD: You know what, that’s a really good point and that TikTok has taught me more about education because all I see are teachers like saying really weird stuff on there. You know what I mean? They’re like — they’re like, you know what I taught my kids what my gender is, you know, I have gender fluid. It’s like, no, you’re not supposed to be actually doing that. And thank you TikTok for showing me these people are crazy.

Cory, how do you feel about the whole school choice thing about the — there’s a movement going on now to separate the money away from the schools and let the money follow the student. And you’re running for — you’re running for office. Where do you sit on this?

CORY MILLS (R), FLORIDA CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE: Well, I’ll tell you, one of the things that’s been a problem for years is that Congress has just continued to write blind checks. You know, we put in billions and billions of dollars into COVID prevention, all these schools, and yet, we’re still being shut down and the school board to be able to run autonomously without any parental input.

So my whole thing is that you’re not incentivizing these schools to make the right choices, you’re incentivizing them to be better or for these teachers to actually teach. You’re enabling them to have this type of indoctrination and shut down when they want because they have ultimate control. So I believe in the idea that the money should follow the child. It shouldn’t be based on if you live in a certain neighborhood, or you have a certain community that you’re in that you’re forced go to these schools, they should really be about what is best for your child.

And I think that when you do this, it encourages schools to say, oh, wait a second, we don’t have any money.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MILLS: We’re having to lay off people now. We need to improve our educational systems, we can get kids to come back to our schools. And that’s where we need to be at.

GUTFELD: And it turns the parent, the customer, just the way it should be with everything else in life. You’re a customer, you need to be — you need to be attracted to the thing and they don’t have to attract you if they already got your money. You’ve already paid for any time, Kat, that you’ve already paid for something. Like, you know, it all — what do you call that? All —

DEVITO: Inclusive?

GUTFELD: All inclusive. Thank you, Joe. You’ve been to Club Med?

DEVITO: With me.

GUTFELD: Like in all inclusive thing and you show up and then the service is bad, because you already paid for the service, rights?

TIMPF: I have seen that happen.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Yes. I’ve seen that happened before. Yes. I mean, we have — obviously we get more options for schools. I just think the governments couldn’t be doing a worse job. I mean, I don’t have kids. And like, I don’t know if I ever will if this continues because like, you don’t want to spend that much time with them.

BANDERAS: No.

TIMPF: Like, you’re not supposed to spend that much time with them. I mean, like I’ve been around kids before.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And like it — that’s been enough so far. So I can’t imagine like how — I mean, if I were Julie, I don’t know if I would have been able to do a drive five days in January.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: No, I’m actually — I’m really proud of myself —

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Do you think that the cause of alcoholism are children? Is that what you’re saying?

TIMPF: I think– I think we should pin that on kids. Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Let’s put me on record saying that.

BANDERAS: I actually drink more now than I did in my 20s. So yes.

GUTFELD: There you go. See? The thing — and you only had four kids in your 20s.

BANDERAS: And I’m only 35.

GUTFELD: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

DEVITO: Alcohol often is the cause of children though.

GUTFELD: That is true.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: That is true.

BANDERAS: Oh my god. That’s so true.

GUTFELD: All right, we got to go. Up next. This airlines ethics are bereft when free speech is just for the left. Look at that.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Allowing political speech is abandoned. The minute they heard let’s go Brandon. Ooh. Yes, she wanted to bicker about a sticker. American Airlines is getting called out online for responding to a woman who complained about a pilot who had a Let’s Go Brandon sticker on his luggage. It all started after she tweeted a picture of it, asking if the airline accepts, “Cowardly rhetoric on their crew luggage when they’re in uniform.”

And that she and other passengers were disgusted. Now what the airline could have done was nothing or said, so what, just get on the plane, you stupid, silly lady. But instead American responded, thank you for bringing this to our attention. And we want to get this to the right team. Please D.M. any additional details. Stupid people. The women then posted screenshots of her conversation with the airline reps where of course, she complained some more accusing the pilot of supporting insurrection against the U.S. government.

Yes. Now stickers or violence. Then despite being assured that an internal review of the pilot would occur, which trials, she kept complaining. Now some people on Twitter already pointed out it’s hard for the airline to justify censoring a Let’s Go Brandon sticker when they endorse a Black Lives Matter pin for staffers and having a similar option for those who want to express support for law enforcement.

Also, Let’s Go Brandon is a joke, a joke making fun of the embarrassing arrogant frequently clueless codgers currently shuffling around the White House. Thinking let’s go Brandon is a violent call to action. It’s like expecting Julie Banderas to do something nice for other people. It’s just a stretch. That was totally unnecessary, but it was in there in the prompter. Which means this is where we’re headed. Complaining about anything and everything.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, Mr. Devito, where are we headed today?

DEVITO: Heading to Pittsburgh. And let me tell you last time I was there, it’s actually —

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: — right there. It seems that we’ve received a complaint about you.

DEVITO: Complaint? Oh, is it about the sticker? I know Garbage Pail Kids bark and bark, it’s very —

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No.

DEVITO: Knock it off.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In fact, it seems that somebody complained about your face.

DEVITO: My face?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, sir. I’m afraid so. It appears that your face is scaring the passengers and making the service animals uncomfortable.

DEVITO: I’m not even on the flight yet. Who complain?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I did.

DEVITO: Well, why don’t you just sit somewhere else?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, I’m not even on the flight. I’m just here to complain.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sorry, I can’t let you board the flight without a face covering, sir. Enjoy your flight.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BANDERAS: Oh, I just peed my pants.

GUTFELD: You know, it’s — that happens after I have kids. And it’s — and it’s funny, Joe, because it’s true. You are hideous.

DEVITO: You know, I’m just trying to realize that I don’t think this show is going to get me laid, Greg. I played this incorrectly.

GUTFELD: You just made a proud mother P which is almost like getting laid.

BANDERAS: Stop. I’m serious. I played a lot of water on my drive. Oh god. I have to go to the bathroom. Can we take a break?

GUTFELD: Yes. No. We’re not taking a break, not for anything. We plow through this. Joe, what’s worse, the think or American Airlines who responds to every think?

DEVITO: The only way it could be good is if that’s a way of blowing people off. I think I’m going to integrate that into my life that it — when someone complains to me, I’ll just say, I’m glad you brought this to my attention. I’m going to make sure it gets to the right team. And hopefully that team is like the 1990 Detroit Pistons and they beat the hell out of whoever (INAUDIBLE) this is — why our airplanes becoming the petri dish for the experiment of human interaction?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes.

DEVITO: Every time isn’t more, and I think it’s because it’s one of the few places where you can’t decide who’s around you. Unless you’re in first class. You do not see these problems first class. But if someone’s freaking out over sticker, they really need to dial down their emotional regulation. It’s — the only sticker that would make me upset is if I saw the pilot walk by and it was a sticker of Imperial Japan.

(CROSSTALK)

DEVITO: I don’t want this guy being my pilot.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes,

DEVITO: We’re going to get there early.

GUTFELD: Yes, no, you won’t. That’s a — that’s a good point. I would rather have Kat, you know, a great pilot with — whose political opinions I don’t care about, rather than somebody who I agree 100 percent on who can’t fly a plane.

TIMPF: I would also like my pilot to fly the plane.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But yesterday, I was on a plane. And we had to wait for two hours because there was no pilot. There was no — which is — which is an important part.

GUTFELD: His name was Brandon and you’re going, let’s go, Brandon.

TIMPF: It is important part. I’m just going to pretend you didn’t say that and keep talking.

GUTFELD: OK.

TIMPF: You know, it’s an important part of flying, right? Like there are shortages with pilots right now. So I feel like we shouldn’t be complaining about stickers even though adults that like stickers a little weird. No offense to you. Look at the back of his clipboard.

GUTFELD: Just one.

TIMPF: But I wouldn’t care if the pilot like came up to me and told me to go (BLEEP) myself, I would have much preferred that then I’m going to sit there for two hours with no drinks.

BANDERAS: No drinks?

TIMPF: No drink. They don’t serve drinks on the ground anymore. It sucks. It sucks to fly.

GUTFELD: Were you —

BANDERAS: That makes no sense. You can drink in the air but you can’t drink on the ground.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. I look at you because you finally find the lining of the story. That’s important —

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: That’s not true actually. No, I’ve always packed a roadie in kid’s bottles.

GUTFELD: That’s brilliant idea.

BANDERAS: No kidding.

GUTFELD: You pack them into kids bottle then they don’t know because — they’ll throw you off the plane if you bring the little — the little —

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: Oh, I know. That’s why you carry around bottle.

GUTFELD: I’d say airplane — her version of —

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: Breastfeeding my five-year-old.

GUTFELD: Your version of an airplane bottle is just the handle of vodka. Cory, you know, people saying like, you know, you could do BLM? Why can’t you do like something else? My theory — well, it’s not a theory, but it’s an observation is that BLM is a virtue signal for corporations. So it matters to them to do that. But this sort of thing isn’t a virtue signal. In fact, it’s a panic signal that happens like if you do this, you’re going to get somebody on Twitter.

So they’ll gladly throw somebody under the bus for something like this.

MILLS: Well, I mean, again, though, this is the hypocrisy of the left, it’s OK for them to complain about something they demand that it be canceled. But God forbid anyone who’s a conservative complain about us first thing. And I’ll tell you something. Something that you said, Joe, just wait for it. You just now started the complaint. Someone’s going to go on and complain about first class now saying, well, it makes me feel marginalized, it makes me feel like I’m less important.

And they’re going to now create these, you know, spirit airline type things where everyone has to sit, regardless of your actual cost. But the whole point is, is because the airline industry is so subsidized. They’re the one industry that is continuously built out regardless of their failures, that they will always, you know, follow the woke method, because they have no fear of going broke.

You know, they don’t have the same thing as everyone else would they get won’t go broke because they’re constantly subsidized by government and constantly bailed out the first industry to do so.

GUTFELD: Wow. I would think though, that if they didn’t want to get — if they didn’t have to worry about it, they could stay F.U. to everybody, but they’re not

MILLS: But they want government funds. That’s the whole thing.

GUTFELD: That’s right. That’s right.

(CROSSTALK)

MILLS: If want government funds, you have to go to where the government is. And right now, it’s in the Let’s Go Brandon arena.

GUTFELD: Yes. What should have American Airlines done if you were their consultant, you’re like — you’re crisis specialist.

BANDERAS: I mean, they don’t need to do an internal review. I think they need to maybe do like an internal investigation on how stupid this rule is. But I mean, the fact that they’re not allowing somebody, some pilot to have a sticker collection is kind of pathetic.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: I mean, let the guy have his sticker collection. I have no problem with that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: And it shouldn’t matter what is on —

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Really no problem with that.

BANDERAS: I mean —

GUTFELD: What kind of person is —

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: I love stickers.

GUTFELD: What kind of person is looking at somebody’s luggage and looking at their stickers? What kind of person — who — by the way, did anybody do any research on this because I didn’t? Do we know what this person is?

DEVITO: Yes, yes. She set her tweets to private —

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: She — believes or not is somehow involved in the college arena. She’s a —

MILLS: A talker.

(CROSSTALK)

DEVITO: So another over credentialed completely useless person.

GUTFELD: Wow.

TIMPF: Got the stickers because there’s no drinks. And there’s nothing else to do.

BANDERAS: That’s true.

GUTFELD: I don’t know. I wouldn’t blame this —

(CROSSTALK)

MILLS: — folks on the fact that we had a safe landing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MILLS: If you’re offended me.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. Well, I think we learned nothing. Up next. AOC caught COVID then shame and injustice makes a shocking claim.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: As AOC goes on vacation, Sotomayor spreads disinformation. Yes. Just days after living it up (INAUDIBLE) set a bar in South Beach. New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tested positive for Coronavirus. But who could have predicted that?

Her office says she’s experiencing symptoms and recovering at home. They also reported she’s suffering from confusion and incoherent speech. But that has nothing to do with COVID. Now, if you’ll remember, she blamed the criticism she faced on Republican’s deranged sexual frustration and being mad that they can’t date her. Yes, that’s why.

So, maybe COVID infected or out of jealousy, who knows? Now, you have to stay six feet away, perverts, but doctors recommend staying so far away, you can’t hear her either. So, from our clueless Cupid to a justice who’s just playing stupid last Friday, during the hearing, Biden’s vaccine mandates Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor said, “We have over 100,000 Children, which we’ve never had before in serious condition and many on ventilators.”

Well, that’s not true. It’s not even close. And we have no idea where she got that crazy number. What’s scary, that lady is a Supreme Court justice yet it appears she has the B.S. detector have a cat lady who thinks astrology is a science. But not to be outdone, Justice Breyer, claimed masks in vaccines would prevent all cases of COVID.

This when the massive vaccinated are seeing more breakthrough cases than the southern border. But it just goes to show you that just because someone wears a robe, it doesn’t make them smart. Well, unless it’s a shorty robe on a Saturday night. And Hemmer’s heating up the hot tub. Yes, sorry, Cory, I lost my train of thought.

No one here is dunking on AOC because the fact is the left love to dunk on unvaccinated people for getting COVID and getting sick or getting or die. But we’re not doing that. We know that. You can get it wherever you got. That’s not our point. But what is interesting is why do they all go to Florida?

CORY MILLS, FLORIDA CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE: Well, because Florida is America. I mean, look, we have all the freedoms down there. So, my question, though, is how is this going to turn out for because I think that her original theory was, I’ll go down to Florida, I think that she wanted to be seen, which is why she was being so public. And she was going to come back and then spread this disinformation that, oh, I went to Florida and because they’re so you know, unprotected, I ended up getting COVID.

Now, the question, though, is that does that backfire on her?

GUTFELD: Right.

MILLS: Well, she may say, oh, I went to Florida, and I got COVID. What she also has to say is I’m triple vaxxed, and that still didn’t stop from me be able to get this which means that I’m just as protected unvaxxed as you are vaxxed.

So, you know again, I think this is going to backfire on her massively with her whole scheme, but it was certainly not about her boyfriend’s feet and all about politics.

GUTFELD: Yes. And, and I will say this, I’m one of the few conservatives who felt that his feet were attractive. I know nobody wanted to say that at the time, but I looked at his toes and I said that’s, that’s an elegant man’s foot. Kat.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: All right, glad you found some happiness.

GUTFELD: I did. I did. I have some photographs I’d like to show you later of his foot that I blew up to the size of a full-length mirror that I like to just crawl all over. OK. I expect, Kat, my secrete — supreme, my Supreme Court, Supreme Court justice to be smarter than your average fifth grader. But she says dumb is Don Lemon. I mean, I mean, come on that every webpage. OK, where did you get that stat?

TIMPF: Well, it’s, it’s not anywhere because it’s not real.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But that’s what I was wondering, is she dumb? Or did she really know that? That’s not true. And yes, soon people would believe that it’s real. I think it’s inspirational. Like why can’t I sit on the Supreme Court? Yes. Because I knew that wasn’t true. I could do a better job. But look, and then I get I agree with you. AOC. She could have gone COVID anywhere. It’s not necessarily a Florida thing. I got to New York COVID. There’s really just not that in New York. And there’s not that much we can really do this stuff doesn’t work. We’re still trying to do the same stuff over and over again. And so, it doesn’t surprise me that they want to make up things in order to try to keep it going, but why? Don’t like to live life?

GUTFELD: Yes. And also, I mean, it did — I think that the, it’s effectively the idea that the Omicron is everywhere. It killed the idea of a vaccine mandate, but I coined a phrase a while ago. You know, what’s the definition of insanity? Eating pickles in your underwear? I don’t know where I went there. Am I talking to you now?

JULIE BANDERAS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: I love pickles, I won’t eat that with my underwear, but I didn’t know why?

GUTFELD: What — you could be Supreme Court justice because you have crazy opinions too?

BANDERAS: I think so.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: No, I actually do and I think it’s really scary. The thought — first of all, and I’ll get on AOC in a second. But the fact that she was supposed to be ruling on a decision whether it’s constitutional or not to impose this national possible vaccination or testing mandates, and she doesn’t even know the facts. Yes. And I and COVID got stressed awful I don’t think she’s dumb I think that she actually believed what she said I really believe that she so there you go so I’m really, really faithful. I’m sure that they’re going to be making some really great decisions on mandating vaccines.

MILLS: One of the things that she actually states is that I don’t understand the distinction between federal and state powers.

GUTFELD: Yes. Crazy!

MILLS: As the Supreme Court Justice member and tell America that you don’t understand the distinction between state and federal law.

GUTFELD: That’s why he’s here. Because I wouldn’t have thought of that. Joe, last word to you.

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Well, like Judge Sotomayor, I’m also a wise Latina.

GUTFELD: Yes. Latin-X.

DEVITO: Latin-X: I don’t know where she got those numbers from, but she did say the other 15 judges agreed with her. So, I think AOC got this knot when she was in Florida. She got it back at that gala event. She just had extremely long COVID —

GUTFELD: All right.

DEVITO: That needed a couple of months to fully flower into the sniffles she currently suffering.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. Well, I hope that she feels better because like, we’re not like them. We’re not going to dunk on her. But we’re just pointing out the hypocrisy that tend to permeate this progressive wing of the party. How does that sound?

TIMPF: Great.

GUTFELD: Thank you very much.

TIMPF: You’re going to love it.

GUTFELD: Yes, really, that saved me. Excellent. All right, coming up a stunning defeat at a woman swim meets.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: There’s a surprising first place in this transgender race. And parents are out of sorts over the demise of women’s sports. At a college swim meet over the weekend, aren’t they all? Transgendered man racing in the women’s division beat a transgendered woman in two separate races. No matter their biological or self-identified sex, apparently, they’re allowed to pick the division that’s easiest. I don’t know.

Now, you may recall, the story of Lia Thomas from last year, unless you’re a president. But the University of Pennsylvania swimmer who was born a male made headlines after she transitioned and began shattering records like an earthquake at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But on Saturday, Thomas lost to Yale swimmer Itzhak Henig, who was born female and is publicly identified as male since April of 2021. The 20-year-old Henig says he refused hormone therapy, so he could continue competing on the woman’s team. I guess as a woman. Talk about pro-choice.

One of the many shocked parents in the stands commented: “Everything is messed up. I can’t wrap my head around this. The N.C.-two A, N.C.-two A? Double A, whatever. To battery. Seems to need to do something about this. They need to put science into the decision and discussion. So, how do we follow the science when we’re in uncharted waters, literally? I’ve read this story five times and I’m still not sure what just happens. Who won a guy or a girl? Also, since when is swimming as sports? And why can’t dolphins participate? The whole thing smacks of speciesism, what do you think dolphin? Is this fair?

You don’t get that on “FACE THE NATION”, Kat. Is it time to ban all sports, including swimming, even though swimming probably isn’t a sport, but we should ban it just in case?

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Good. Good.

TIMPF: I think, I think specially because now because of all this stuff, I’ve had to pay so much attention to the ins and outs of college swimming. And I don’t care about college swimming at all. But also, like the OK, the female to male trans-swimmer, and then there’s, and then there’s the male to female trans-swimmer, there’s also three women in the mix there, who placed above. But it’s like, it just become this one specific story. And it’s, you know, like, you know, I got to say, whoever, however they figured out over there. Over at the swimming people. That’s fine. Just go ahead. Just do it. I can’t, swimming? I don’t know anything about swimming. I can swim and I don’t.

GUTFELD: You don’t — you choose not to swim.

TIMPF: I choose not to.

BANDERAS: Pro-choice.

TIMPF: No, I’ll float around. Sure, but I don’t know —

GUTFELD: You know, then, you should have your right. If you’re not a swimmer, you shouldn’t have any decisions. If you’re not swimming, mind your own business. That’s my water, my choice. Joe, at a certain point, why don’t we just start grouping sports by skill level? Screw gender right now because that’s where we’re going.

DEVITO: It’s fair. And I just want to say anybody who now tries to tell me I can’t hang out in the women’s changing room, I’ll see you in court.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

DEVITO: You set a precedent here. I like this Yale swimmer and I’ll tell you why.

GUTFELD: OK.

DEVITO: Because transitioning from female to male, we call it a trans, trans-man, right, however, and I did not, I was too lazy to do the research on this. But I liked that he stayed on the women’s team because women’s sports and men’s sports are separated by biology. They’re not separated by your identity.

GUTFELD: Right?

DEVITO: And if we don’t do it by biology, there’s no reason to separate the sports,

GUTFELD: Exactly.

DEVITO: Then, we should have biological males compete against biological females. And guess what, ladies, kiss your Title IX goodbye, because you’re going to get housed.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: And you get destroyed because this thing called sexual dimorphism, and there’s a reason why testosterone is a performance enhancing drug, and someday when my body does start creating testosterone, I’ll be able to speak more at length about it.

GUTFELD: One day, it will happen.

TIMPF: Never, never, never give up.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes. Cory, I had to read this story 14 times to understand it. I felt like it was an SAT word problem. We just make it like at a certain point, it’s just going to happen to all sports or just a few sports?

MILLS: Well, I mean, here’s the thing though. We talk about and you bring up a great topic which is about the biology and the fact that testosterone is considered a performance enhancing drug. It’s something that’s tested for the Olympics to ensure that it’s free and fair competition. But, but when you’re talking about biological men who are competing in women’s sports, you’re basically already creating an unfair advantage.

You know, and I have a good friend of mine two-time UFC Heavyweight Champ Frank Mir, he has gone on and on about the fact that I don’t care what you tell me or what you try to explain. If you put me into a fight, into any women’s sports, regardless of me taking testosterone, I’m going to dump you know, demolish competition. So, bottom line is, this is just, you know, unfair competition. And it’s weird for the left to support this when they talk about you know, they want more equality for women. And this is exactly the opposite.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MILLS: This does not help to draw an equal standard for women. This actually allows men to start taking away college opportunities for women.

GUTFELD: You know, I’m going to put it in the world, Julie, that you will understand completely imagine happy hour for what — remember when Happy Hour was for women? Remember?

DEVITO: Ladies night.

GUTFELD: Ladies night. Ladies night, half-off, two for one — imagine men come in identifying as women taking your drink out of your hands.

BANDERAS: No.

GUTFELD: No, you won’t let that happen, will you? You will fight.

BANDERAS: No, no, no —

GUTFELD: It’ll be like the Boston Tea Party at the harbor.

BANDERAS: Yes, I mean, I don’t need to take testosterone because I already have it naturally.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

BANDERAS: So, now, I think I’m going to start swimming because I feel like if we have an advantage as men, or as a woman who has testosterone, you know, who jump in the pool. But I think the NC-two As, is definitely exaggerating this. I mean, it’s just not fair.

GUTFELD: You can say NC-two As.

TIMPF: You can but no one ever has.

BANDERAS: Yes, not until tonight. But you know, as the top talk show host in the world, you don’t care — you don’t need to care about being —

GUTFELD: It’s NCAA.

BANDERAS: Yes, it is.

DEVITO: I think we need to the periodic table of elements to figure out. Is that salt? That’s a sodium chloride —

GUTFELD: All right. Well, you know what I think, I think that you should make all these sports individual comp — if they’re not in the same pool, you won’t have the psychological thing so everybody just races against time.

TIMPF: In a separate pool.

GUTFELD: In a separate pool. They race against time, so that means that they have to beat the previous record while there are piranhas in the pool. The race against time, tonight at 9:00. Up next, he couldn’t be prouder for his wife who shoveled the powder.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Takes the man out of Manitoba. Yes, the politician’s wife went from a 12-hour shift to removing a snow drift. Canadian politician is being eviscerated for making his wife shovel snow after a 12-hour nursing shift. While he just sat inside taking pictures of her doing it. John Ray is a member of the Legislative Assembly of Manitoba or — tweeted on Saturday morning, “Even after a 12-hour shift at the hospital last night, my wife still has the energy to shovel the driveway. God bless her and all our frontliners. Time to make her some breakfast.”

Yes, I hope she likes Pop Tarts. That way she’ll have the nutrition she needs to do his laundry, which stinks because he’s been home all day. To be fair, race must have been exhausted. His previous tweet shows that he was up watching tennis until nearly four in the morning that same day. Who watches tennis? And who watches it until 4:00 a.m.? That has to be (INAUDIBLE) for doing meth, right? I’m up and I’ll be up at 4:00, I’m watching tennis. Come by come by, or the back. Knock on the window.

But raises the question: is this husband a selfish disgusting pig? Or is he just a proud feminist shouting You go girl to a woman who’s just as tough as he is. It just goes to show you that Canadian politicians are like Canadian change. They look similar, but they’re worth even less. Fist bump, America. Have you ever shoveled snow? You’re in Detroit?

TIMPF: No, I’ve never. I’ve never —

GUTFELD: Is he pro feminist?

TIMPF: OK, well, here’s the, here’s the problem. Here’s the mistake he made. Like I can’t knock him for you know, not doing anything around the house because I don’t.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: I can’t knock him for making his spouse do it all because I do that. But the difference is I’m a woman so for me, it’s feminism to not help out or you have it backwards. Feminism to not help out. Because women, you know, they’re supposed to do all the housework, blah, blah, blah. So, like, it might look like I’m just sitting on the couch. But really, I’m fighting the patriarchy by sitting there and refusing to help.

GUTFELD: Wow, that’s — Oh, I didn’t follow that at all, Cory. Maybe he has a medical condition, right? He can’t shovel so and it’s being (BLEEP)?

MILLS: Well, I’ll tell you, I think that to be honest with you is only she volunteered for her 12-hour shift.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MILLS: She was pissed off.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MILLS: She probably showed up and she was like, are you joking? I’ve been in what, 12-hour shift, and you haven’t done a damn thing this entire time? And meanwhile, that’s he was tweeting about staying up till 4:00 a.m. watching tennis? So, he was like, these are saving your texts. These are those stages, like, I’m going to make breakfast for my wife now because she’s so amazing. Yes. Like, this is where he just got it handed to him. And now he’s trying to bail himself out? You know, this is the I made a mistake. I’m going to buy flowers. This is him. I made a mistake.

I’m going to now make, you know, Filipino breakfast, because that’s what this really is. But no, there is an issue with this. I mean, look, as a man, I always take it upon myself to try and shovel snow or to prep the car or to have things ready. I just feel like it’s responsibility for me. And my wife obviously will do things like packing the kids’ clothes or getting ready for you know, the trip, whatever the case may be. There are certain roles and responsibilities that we have divided as a household and this isn’t one of them.

GUTFELD: Well, what a, what a sexist, Julie. He just has these different roles. By the way, when we’re talking about shoveling snow, it’s not what you think, we’re talking about winter time.

BANDERAS: Oh, OK.

GUTFELD: Is this husband? Is this husband better or worse than your husband?

BANDERAS: Oh, well, that’s a loaded question. So, I’m just going to go with —

GUTFELD: And for you, every question’s a loaded question.

BANDERAS: This is headed toward divorce. I mean, you did not expect me to shovel snow —

GUTFELD: Right.

BANDERAS: And making me breakfast is no excuse, you should be making me breakfast which my husband does and shoveling the snow and doing the laundry and feeding all the kids. If it weren’t for my husband, my children would starve. You would also have been buried in snow because there’s no way that I’d be out there. Oh no, no, no —

GUTFELD: That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about your husband in front of me. If I, if he — if I didn’t have my husband, my children would die. Last word to you, Joe, as this man — this man is just following the base, he’s fighting the patriarchy to paraphrase Kat.

DEVITO: You’re all wrong. Oh, you’re all wrong. And I’ll tell you why. Who knew the final wave of feminism was a man saying, make sure you salt the steps when you’re done, honey. So, yes, I think it’s, great people online were saying, oh, he’s, he’s weak. That’s what’s more alpha male than making a woman do physical labor for you while you’re inside? He doesn’t wear the pants.

Yes, guess what, he doesn’t wear the boots or gloves either. Coco. He’s got it made? Yes. So, I think and also, I did have the thing where he said I gave her Filipino breakfast afterwards. And I was wondering, is that an expression for like, I — he gave me the old Filipino breakfast after I did all that shoveling.

GUTFELD: I don’t even know what that means. You know. That’s a very strange. He’s also a racist. He’s a sexist — no, no (INAUDIBLE) by the way. You know what he is? I’d say he’s an American hero.

DEVITO: But he’s Canadian.

GUTFELD: But he’s Canadian. So therefore, he’s a war criminal. Don’t go away. We’ll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Thanks to Julie Banderas, Cory Mills, Joe DeVito, Kat Timpf. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

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